Baby Boomer Grandparent

What role should a grandparent take in discipline?

Our children probably discipline the same way we did but now it is hard for us to watch.  We aren’t certain that an infraction of the rules should merit a spanking but then it is none of our business. That is where being a good grandparent really matters.  We must learn to stay out of the child parent relationship unless we are asked to do otherwise.  No soda pop means no soda pop.  No questions asked and no soda offered even at Grammy’s house.

When we visit our grandchildren in their home, it’s important that we do not interfere with the operating dynamics of the home.  The parents are in charge.  Again this allows us to enjoy our grandchildren without causing friction.  When they visit in our home it is also important that daily functions are not disrupted and that our grandchildren respect the rules of our home. No eating in the bedroom comes to mind and should pertain to everyone even that adorable grandchild who can do no wrong.

I have found over the years that the best way to discipline our grandchildren in our home is to follow their parents methods. If they do not spank their children then you shouldn’t either.  A great method of communicating with a small child is to get to their level.  Sit on the floor, hold them in your lap or (one of my favorites when I am working in the kitchen) sit them on the kitchen counter and talk while you work.

Children should obey the rules in our homes also.

How do I get to know each grandchild without his siblings feeling left out?

Try to spend time with each child individually.  This isn’t always easy especially if there are only two children in a family but the kids finally get the hang of it and know it will be their turn next.  This can be done even if you have to travel out of town to visit.  Send a letter before your visit to each child.  Ask them to pick a place they would like to go with you for an hour or two during your visit.  With young children you can work this out with Mom and Dad.

One of our favorite things is to take one of our grandchildren out to dinner every other month.  Since we have 20 grandchildren we now do it twice a month.  We don’t go to fast food restaurants on this night.  It is strictly dress-up.  Dressing properly for a nice restaurant allows them to feel grown up as does ordering from the menu.  Of course, when ten year old Mac orders a steak, baked potato, salad and dessert (and eats every bite) you are happy that you no longer have to pay for the weekly groceries.

Buy tickets for a play or musical and invite one of your grandchildren.  Invite another to a sporting event.  On a budget?  Make a trip to the dollar store.  We have had some of our best laughs and fun in the dollar store.  I have forewarned my grandchildren that dollar store items are fun for the day but they usually don’t last too long.

It helps to let other siblings know that their turn is coming.  If you need to cancel your  date  make sure you call the child and explain it to him/her.  Make another date as soon as possible.

Making a meal at home with you is as much fun as going out.  Buy a notebook and write down the recipes.  Give it to that child so they can begin their own cook book with Grandma’s recipes.